google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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