i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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