garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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