I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize