Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
