That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
