and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
