she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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