It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
