my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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