Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Soap is not a condiment
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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