I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
