is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
