I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
