sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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