What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
