theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize