you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I believe in your delicious
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
