just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize