And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
