Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
