I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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