does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
