on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
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