Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
