I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We have so much sex to catch up on
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
