You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
