Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
