Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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