I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize