"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
