OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Non-Jews are for practice
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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