So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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