Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
