Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
did i just pee glitter
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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