Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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