dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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