mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
