Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
