I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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