yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
