i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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