the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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