You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
i've created a new STD.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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