That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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