maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
