I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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