If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
