you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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