i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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