I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
