Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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