Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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