i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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