Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
