I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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