So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
