you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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