I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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