i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
