Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
