After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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