I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
BRING THE BAGELS
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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