It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
