I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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