yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
