Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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