I'm going to rape someone's good day.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
