I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
it's like heaven, but drunker
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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