Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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