she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
